How Many Divorcee’s Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

(I literally have no idea, but you can bet I’m going to figure it out… and will report back. In the event you don’t hear from me again I’ve been shocked or electrocuted – or something else awful has happened. Just a warning!)

It’s all becoming incredibly apparent how important a husband is in this world… did I really think this whole “divorced” thing through? Well, I asked myself that very question last night when I turned on the kitchen light and was getting psyched up to prepare the kids a gourmet meal for dinner (that’s the only way I can make myself feel better about our dinner routine) and realized that about 5 bulbs were burnt out in the kitchen and I’m quite certain that if I looked throughout the house I would find about a dozen more. One might ask, “Why do you not change the light bulbs when they initially go out?” Yeah, I don’t have an answer for that… it could be a variety of reasons such as: I tell myself that perhaps there is a short of some kind and the bulb will magically begin to work again soon… just giving it a much needed rest, I hadn’t even noticed there was one burnt out or the classic… it seems complicated to deal with that right now and I will begin the “fixing” process once I am in complete darkness. (Which I might add could be any day now after I realized the magnitude of the situation at hand.) I have asked myself, several times, when walking past a burnt out bulb, “How does one go about changing that?” “Do I shut the light switch off first, or do I leave it on, and if I leave it on and that was the wrong choice will I die in the process?” Because I don’t know the answers to those questions I continue on with my life… in a little less light. Let’s be honest… I certainly don’t want THAT to be the end of me!

Ok, so I’ve defined my first issue… that my life will soon be surrounded by complete darkness (except for the light from my iPhone) unless I get a grip on this light bulb epidemic; however, have you been to the store to look at light bulbs? Seems a little unnecessary to have an ENTIRE ROW devoted to light bulbs that are all different shapes, sizes and watts. As I’m sauntering through the house making a tally of burnt out bulbs I realize that they all look different and I want to scream…WTH? This girl just needs a little more light in her life (Aww, that sounds like the lyric to an early 90’s song…cute)!Moral of this story is that it was so much easier when I had a maintenance man, I mean husband, for things like this, but I am determined to be a big girl and figure this out alone (well, perhaps a little help from the world wide web to ensure I don’t die, but mostly by alone).

Here's a visual... of my nearly "dark" situation.

 

This morning while visiting with a friend on the phone, I realize there’s all sorts of other things I should be thinking about… the furnace filter, sump pump hose, and a list of other things. He was asking all sorts of “guy” questions and if this conversation would have been in person he would have quickly realized he had lost me at furnace. He’s a good man and says he’ll do a little “walk through” with me – I tell him I’m fine and have in under control, but I don’t think he can be fooled. JGood thing I have incredible people in my life who would prefer to not see me completely overtaken by household man chores.

I’ve always been incredibly independent – I’m an only child and have preferred to do many things alone, but when you’re forced to think about all sorts of things (i.e. man chores) that have never even been a blip on your radar life can tend to seem a little overwhelming, but certainly not enough to get this soldier down. I am accepting this challenge with open arms and hoping for the best… to survive. As long as the house is still standing, and so am I… I will chalk this adventure up to a complete success. Ahh, the beauty in knowing I really can survive on my own (although that is just a theory right now, but once those light bulbs are all shining bright… I may even start to see things more clearly. One can only hope!)

Until next time you brave warriors…xoxo